MySpace teens and the trust factor

I had been hearing about MySpace.com; mostly bad happenings on the news of a woman who got raped by some guy she met on MySpace, or a 14-year-old girl who ran off to another country with a guy she met on MySpace. Then just a few weeks ago my 17-year-old son was talking about his MySpace page and all his friends that have pages. I was a bit surprised because I guess I didn't realize it had become that big of a thing with all the teenagers. So, being the nosy person that I am, and always making my kid's business my own, I decided to make a visit to my son's MySpace page.

It was easy really, because my son uses my computer to access the internet since we had a router problem with the computer in his room. So I just checked out the history section of my computer and it took me right away to my son's page. There, I could read his blog, his likes and dislikes, his "all about me" paragraph and then below that are pictures and links to all of his friend's pages as well. Underneath all of his friends links, were comments left by his friends. Nothing really exicting, just some "hello's" and "see you tomorrow at school" and "this weekend was fun", etc etc. But I didn't stop there. I decided to click on the links of his friends to see what their pages looked like as well. I know most of the friends that were on his page and I was aware of some of the acquaintances that were on there, but there were a few names and faces that I did not recognize nor ever hear my son mention the name. So I clicked on each one to check it out.

Most all of my son's close friends had the usual stuff on thier pages with the usual comments and teenage chatter, but in clicking on their pages, I then could continue clicking on pages of their friends and so on and so on, the links never ending. What I ended up finding out between my son, his friends and acquaintances and their friends and acquaintances, was that many of these kids are up to no good! I read about what drugs were being taken and what alcohol was being drank and where the parties were and when the next party was going to be and whose parents were going to be gone for the weekend. I was amazed at the "scoop" that I could find out just by reading some of these kids pages! Now, mind you, my son is not a total angel, nor are his close friends, but thank goodness, in reading his close friend's pages, they pretty much are the "good" kids we think they are, staying out of trouble, not doing drugs and doing well in school. It was the acquaintances and their friends that I was concerned about.

My son and I have a close relationship. He tells me just about everything and I have quite a bit of trust in him. So when he came home from school, I told him about going on his MySpace page and all the things I read about and this kid doing this and that kid doing that. He agreed that some of his aquaintances were into some bad stuff and that is why he doesn't like hanging out with them, but he will see them at school or run into them at a party etc. We talked a long time about my worry that drugs and alcohol were at some of these parties that he and his friends would drop in at. He assured me that he and his close "posse" make good choices and when they see something "bad" happening at one of these parties, they leave. Well, I have to believe in my son. He will be going off to college in another year and I have to slowly let the leash loose, and put my trust in his judgement, even though I just want him to stay at home with me every night! School is out this Monday and summer will be here and I know there will be more parties, and friends hanging out. I just have to trust my son. He knows that with one slip, one mistake and his summer fun is over. Trust.....I just have to trust.

What I don't understand though, is why are there not more parents out there who read their kids MySpace page?? Sure, I have heard some of my son's friends say that it is an invasion of privacy for their parent to snoop into their childs personal page...WHAT?? It is posted on the internet for the public to see, so HOW is that an invasion of privacy? It isn't like I went snooping in a bedroom drawer searching for a diary to read! I was astounded at not only what I learned about these kids and what they are up too and the lies they tell their parents, but also the language the inuendos and the "sex" talk. I think to myself, "surely these parents are not reading this stuff that their kids put out there and not doing anything about it?" and if they aren't reading this stuff, then they should be! I think some of these kids wouldn't be in the trouble they are in if the parents would take a bit more control and get involved and seeing what their kids are up to.

I trust my son...for now.....but you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be reading and clicking- away on MySpace pages all summer long.